I used to wait until I'd lost weight to buy nice clothes.
Or, I'd buy clothes that were too small for me, preparing for the time when I'd be thinner.
I'd keep jeans that were 2 sizes too small in my dresser. Every once in a while I'd try them on to see how much "progress" I'd made.
One day, my friend Suzanne advised me to chuck out my jeans. She said that although I might lose weight sometime in the future and miss my jeans, I could always buy more. But that having them in my dresser was only keeping me in a space of self-shame.
Tossing my expensive skinny jeans terrified me because it felt like failure. But getting rid of that toxic reminder that I wasn't good enough was one of the most powerful things I did for myself.
I not only ended up giving my jeans away, but I also gave away everything else that didn't fit or feel comfortable on my body.
In doing so, I gave my body permission to take up space. It gave my body permission to be comfortable and feel good at its current size, not on an imaginary future version of me.
It also gave me the space to buy nice clothes that actually fit, which made my body felt celebrated, loved, respected, and honored. I felt comfortable and beautiful, without having to change a thing.
For someone who relished in always having at least one major problem at all times, this felt a bit scary.
It was confronting to give myself permission to look good and feel good NOW.
But I have to say, it was one of the most healing things I did on my journey to recovery from emotional eating, constant body checking, and laxative addiction.
I now encourage my clients to do a closet sweep and throw out whatever doesn't fit or make them feel beautiful now. I encourage them to buy clothes that look nice and make them feel stunning and comfortable. I also advise them to buy loose-fitting, flowy clothes that even give them permission to get bigger if their bodies so choose.
Women's bodies are constantly changing, and when we no longer make bigger bad, we can more easily and comfortably return to our body's ideal natural weight without shame, self-abuse, or bingeing.
So let's celebrate our current beautiful bodies together with lovely, soft, comfortable clothes that feel good, fit well, and honor the sweet vessels we call home.